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Brit Hume To Tiger Woods: “Turn To The Christian Faith”

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Brit Hume reporting live from a high horse.

By now, everyone knows about Tiger getting it in with a stable of women behind his wife’s back. That’s been covered ad nauseam over the past couple of months. Now that we’re past the initial shock of seeing one of the most polished images in sports and entertainment crumble before the public eye, we’re pretty much waiting for the next jumpoff to come forward Tiger to make his inevitable return to the spotlight and to the game of golf.

Exactly how he’ll go about rebuilding his image and working on his personal demons remain a matter of contention. Reports range from the “yacht with liquor and friends”  and “party at the Trump Towers“approaches, to the more traditonal, “if I label this an addiction and check into rehab, I’ll be forgiven more quickly” method. Our good and reliably funny friends over at Fox have their own alternate method, though. What say you, Brit Hume?:

Tiger Woods will recover as a golfer. Whether he can recover as a person, I think, is a very open question. And it’s a tragic situation. . . . But the Tiger Woods that emerges once the news value dies out of this scandal, the extent to which he can recover, seems to me to depend on his faith.

“He’s said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So my message to Tiger would be, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.

Yes, you read correctly. The answer to Tiger’s personal woes is to dump his Buddhist faith and join Team Christianity. Because Brit says so. I’m actually surprised Tiger couldn’t figure this out himself. I’m in complete admiration of Brit Hume for speaking up and telling Tiger what should have already been obvious. Seriously, look at all the shining examples Tiger had to look toward to realize the err of his spiritual commitments:

  • Larry Craig – This former Republican from Idaho was up in an airport bathroom tapping his feet, and it wasn’t because he was feeling the gospel music on his Ipod.
  • David Vitter – The good senator from Louisiana had the D.C. Madam on speed dial. He even spoke with her escort service in the middle of Senate roll call votes. Jesus’ best home girl in the bible was a prostitute, though, so he gets a pass. Yup.
  • Mark Sanford – Who could forget former rising star Gov. Sanford and the affair he had with a woman in Argentina? Sanford wishes everyone would, I’m sure. Thank God for emails, though.
  • Mark Foley – This guy is just disgustingly pious.

Four self described devout Christians. How’s that working out for them? This isn’t an attack on Christianity, trust me. This is an attack on hypocritical people who swear they know how to solve everyone’s problems but their own. Essentially telling someone that their religion is wrong and won’t “offer the same kind of forgiveness and redemption” as the one you belong to is religious arrogance. It’s an arrogance that many Republicans, and by extention FOX News, embody. What ever happened to not throwing rocks in a glass house?

Dear Brit, I think I speak for Christians, Buddhists, and every other religion who’s followers are human and make mistakes when I say: shut the fuck up. Redemption is between the person and their Creator. Period.

Here’s the video clip:

Written by PJ

January 4, 2010 at 4:51 pm