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“Whites Only” Basketball Team Announced In Georgia

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Damn those street ball style colored kids! Oh, wait...

You can’t make this stuff up:

The Augusta Chronicle reported on Tuesday that the All-American Basketball Alliance plans to kick off its inaugural season in June and hopes that Augusta will be one of 12 cities to host teams.

But here’s the kicker: According to a press release the newspaper and other Augusta media outlets received from the new league, “only players that are natural-born United State citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.”

That’s right. [Don “Moose”] Lewis, who calls himself  the commissioner of the AABA, will exclude blacks and all foreigners from his new league, which the newspaper said will be based in Atlanta.

According to the Chronicle, Lewis said he wants to emphasize “fundamental basketball” instead of “street ball” played by “people of color.”

“There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing,” Lewis told the paper. “I don’t hate anyone of color.”

Oh, well there you have it. He doesn’t hate the colored folk. Phew! For a minute there he had me worried! How is this possible in 2010? That some imbecile can arbitrarily decide to exclude all persons of color from his league? He offered another reason, too:

Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?

Word. He’s not racist at all. I seriously hope this league gets stopped dead in its tracks. This should be offense to both black and whites alike, at least the ones that live in the 21st century. This is a blatantly racist dolt who obviously still thinks segregation is the law of the land. I would hope the people of Augusta disagree.

You know what would be sweet? If white “street ball” players like Jason “White Chocolate” Williams or Grayson “The Professor” Boucher signed up for this league and did some crazy street ball shit ad nauseum. I wonder what Mr. Lewis would have to say then?

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Written by PJ

January 22, 2010 at 5:21 pm

Sarah Palin Joins FOX News

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FOX's newest comedian.

Sarah Palin joins FOX as its newest comedian.

Yep, Sarah Palin is going home:

The former Alaska Governor and 2008 GOP VP nominee has signed a multi-year deal to serve as a contributor to Fox News, effective immediately.

“I am thrilled to be joining the great talent and management team at Fox News,” Palin said in a statement. “It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balance news.”

Terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Joining Fox News, the top-rated cable news network, is the latest twist in Palin’s meteoric rise to fame after being named Sen. John McCain’s vice presidential candidate for the 2008 election.

This makes sense for Sarah Palin, if you ask me. What else is a completely incompetent former governor who quit after just one term, with no viable chance of ever becoming POTUS, to do? Make money, of course! Look at the other idiots over at Fox that make bank for mouthing off stupidity all day. Her BFF Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity both seem to be doing well, and she wants in!

I think this puts the 2012 talk to rest. Well, probably not, but it should. One thing is becoming crystal clear about Palin: She understands that she has a brand worth building, and that doing so could reap tremendous financial benefits. This makes it all too obvious that she really doesn’t care about becoming president. Why, when she could stand on her soap-box all day and make millions?

At least we know she’s good at math.

Brit Hume To Tiger Woods: “Turn To The Christian Faith”

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Brit Hume reporting live from a high horse.

By now, everyone knows about Tiger getting it in with a stable of women behind his wife’s back. That’s been covered ad nauseam over the past couple of months. Now that we’re past the initial shock of seeing one of the most polished images in sports and entertainment crumble before the public eye, we’re pretty much waiting for the next jumpoff to come forward Tiger to make his inevitable return to the spotlight and to the game of golf.

Exactly how he’ll go about rebuilding his image and working on his personal demons remain a matter of contention. Reports range from the “yacht with liquor and friends”  and “party at the Trump Towers“approaches, to the more traditonal, “if I label this an addiction and check into rehab, I’ll be forgiven more quickly” method. Our good and reliably funny friends over at Fox have their own alternate method, though. What say you, Brit Hume?:

Tiger Woods will recover as a golfer. Whether he can recover as a person, I think, is a very open question. And it’s a tragic situation. . . . But the Tiger Woods that emerges once the news value dies out of this scandal, the extent to which he can recover, seems to me to depend on his faith.

“He’s said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. So my message to Tiger would be, ‘Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.

Yes, you read correctly. The answer to Tiger’s personal woes is to dump his Buddhist faith and join Team Christianity. Because Brit says so. I’m actually surprised Tiger couldn’t figure this out himself. I’m in complete admiration of Brit Hume for speaking up and telling Tiger what should have already been obvious. Seriously, look at all the shining examples Tiger had to look toward to realize the err of his spiritual commitments:

  • Larry Craig – This former Republican from Idaho was up in an airport bathroom tapping his feet, and it wasn’t because he was feeling the gospel music on his Ipod.
  • David Vitter – The good senator from Louisiana had the D.C. Madam on speed dial. He even spoke with her escort service in the middle of Senate roll call votes. Jesus’ best home girl in the bible was a prostitute, though, so he gets a pass. Yup.
  • Mark Sanford – Who could forget former rising star Gov. Sanford and the affair he had with a woman in Argentina? Sanford wishes everyone would, I’m sure. Thank God for emails, though.
  • Mark Foley – This guy is just disgustingly pious.

Four self described devout Christians. How’s that working out for them? This isn’t an attack on Christianity, trust me. This is an attack on hypocritical people who swear they know how to solve everyone’s problems but their own. Essentially telling someone that their religion is wrong and won’t “offer the same kind of forgiveness and redemption” as the one you belong to is religious arrogance. It’s an arrogance that many Republicans, and by extention FOX News, embody. What ever happened to not throwing rocks in a glass house?

Dear Brit, I think I speak for Christians, Buddhists, and every other religion who’s followers are human and make mistakes when I say: shut the fuck up. Redemption is between the person and their Creator. Period.

Here’s the video clip:

Written by PJ

January 4, 2010 at 4:51 pm

The World Likes America Again

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Obama has successfully lobbied the world to like us again. Get the man a beer.

Obama has successfully lobbied the world to like us again. Get the man a beer.

Further proof that Obama is ruining America:

NEW YORK (Reuters Life!) – The United States is the most admired country globally thanks largely to the star power of President Barack Obama and his administration, according to a new poll.

It climbed from seventh place last year, ahead of France, Germany, the United Kingdom and Japan which completed the top five nations in the Nation Brand Index (NBI).

“What’s really remarkable is that in all my years studying national reputation, I have never seen any country experience such a dramatic change in its standing as we see for the United States for 2009,” said Simon Anholt, the founder of NBI, which measured the global image of 50 countries each year.

He believes that during the previous administration of George W. Bush the United States suffered in the world ranking with its unpopular foreign policies but since Obama was elected, and despite the recent economic turmoil, the country’s status has risen globally.

“There is no other explanation,” Anholt said in an interview, referring to the impact of Obama.

This is bad. Really bad. Somehow. Stay tuned for Republican spin.

Conservative Bible Project Erases Liberal Passages

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The Holy Bible

The Holy Bible

versus.

The Holy White Out

The Holy White Out

Shocking. Or not:

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That’s the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it’s the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: “Lack of precision in the original language … lack of precision in modern language” and “translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.”

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

Yes, that’s right, the folks at Conservative Bible Project want to edit out the parts of the bible they don’t like. These people are absolutely insane. It’s ironic that conservatives, many of whom are strict constructionists when interpreting the Constitution–that is, they believe the text of the constitution should be applied only as it was written–are finding it appropriate to flat out remove aspects of the bible they deem unconformable to their own narrow interpretation of the Bible.

So for those of you keeping long and confusing notes, the Constitution written and inspired by humans must not be interpreted and applied sensibly to the evolving circumstances of the nation, but the Bible, a text purported by these very people to be divinely inspired by God can be edited as they see fit. Got it?

Some of the changes I find to be awesome:

  • Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
  • Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
  • Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
  • Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

This is golden stuff. It really is. The bible is one giant Wikipedia entry, and these wingnuts are the editors who are proving in disturbing fashion that perhaps not everybody should have editing rights.

Iran To Ship Most Of Its Uranium To Russia?

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Word?:

GENEVA – Iran agreed in principle Thursday to ship most of its enriched uranium to Russia, where it would be refined for exclusively peaceful uses, in what Western diplomats called a significant, but interim, measure to ease concerns over its nuclear program.

The agreement was announced after more than seven hours of high-level talks in Geneva among Iran and representatives of the five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council plus Germany, which also featured the highest-level official U.S.-Iranian encounter in three decades.

Iran also pledged that within weeks it would allow the inspection of a previously covert uranium enrichment facility near the holy city of Qom, and the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, Mohamed ElBaradei, announced that he’d head to Tehran to work out the details.

In Washington, President Barack Obama said the talks marked “a constructive beginning” and showed the promise of renewed engagement with Iran, but added that “going forward, we expect to see swift action. We’re not interested in talking for the sake of talking.”

Great news! If they end up doing that, it would buy the United States and her allies time. The timetable for Iran moving towards acquiring nuclear capabilities would be extended, allowing for further attempts to dissuade Tehran from pursuing it at all.

Unless of course, Tehran is, I don’t know… lying? Are we supposed to believe that Iran wants to enrich all that uranium simply to export it to Russia? Something about a recently uncovered nuclear facility leaves me skeptical.

I think it’s entirely plausible that Iran could send some, not most, of it’s uranium. Why wouldn’t they stash the rest? Much of their foreign policy is rooted in deep suspicion of the West and Israel. One day of meetings at a hotel and suddenly they’re ready to abandon what they undeniably view as not only their ticket to superpower status, but a basic safeguard from attack? I think even prostitutes leave hotels with less trust than that.

I personally am convinced that Iran is pursuing nuclear weapons. That’s not to say it’s not their right. Still, that doesn’t mean United States and others in the international community shouldn’t be worried.

So I hope this latest development, however thin, develops further. I guess that’s why all optimism is being categorized as ‘cautious’.

Rio de Janeiro To Host 2016 Olympic Games

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riologoolimpiadi2016

COPENHAGEN, Denmark (CNN) — Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, will host the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, the International Olympic Committee announced Friday.

It is the first time South America would host an Olympics event. The city has budgeted $14.4 billion to the effort, the largest amount of any of the four finalists, according to IOC figures.

The final vote was down to Rio and Madrid, Spain. In earlier voting, Chicago, Illinois, and then Tokyo, Japan, were eliminated from contention.

After the cities made their presentations to the IOC on Friday, the IOC members sat down to cast their votes in a secret ballot.

Congratulations to Brazil, and broader South America, for playing host to the 2016 Games. Strictly on the principle of rooting for the home team, I was hoping Chicago would win it. But I really can’t hate on the IOC’s decision. It’s Rio freakin’ de Janeiro! Sounds like a pretty nice place to have games hosted.

President Obama made the 11th hour decision to fly to Denmark and try to use some of his clout to lobby on his hometown’s behalf. He, along with First Lady Michelle Obama (who KILLED in her speech), were the U.S.’s best possible hand, but it didn’t work out. You have to wonder if this was a snub. U.S. media seems to think so. I don’t think President Obama would have made the trip unless the White House was given some type of assurance that his presence would make a difference. Considering that Chicago was eliminated in the first round of voting, it honestly doesn’t look like it did.

Obama/IOC

President Obama addressing the IOC.

Because everything amounts to politics, I wonder what the backlash will be. Obama’s opponents, chiefly the GOP, have been critical of Obama for flying to Denmark, arguing that there are more important priorities. Nevermind that the other candidate countries were represented by their respective leaders. Or that it was about 3am in the morning Chicago time when Obama was addressing the committee. They are the party of descent and this case was no different.

It’s going to be interesting to see what the haters say since Chicago didn’t get the games. Honestly, half of the reason I wanted them to win was simply to watch the GOP stumble over themselves to applaud Obama’s last second decision. Since that didn’t happen, I wonder if they’ll walk about with their chests inflated.

Besides Rio, there’s definitely one group of people ecstatic about this…

Chicagoans for Rio! *cough*traitors*cough*