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Conservative Bible Project Erases Liberal Passages

with 3 comments

The Holy Bible

The Holy Bible

versus.

The Holy White Out

The Holy White Out

Shocking. Or not:

Lo and behold, the Bible has gotten too liberal, according to a group of conservatives. And it needs a little editing.

That’s the inspiration behind the Conservative Bible Project, which seeks to take the text back to its supposed right-wing roots.

Yes, even scripture is not orthodox enough for the modern conservative. Not that it’s the fault of the author(s), exactly. The group cites a few reasons why the Bible is too progressive: “Lack of precision in the original language … lack of precision in modern language” and “translation bias in converting the original language to the modern one.”

So how can the Bible be conservatized? The group has proposed a Wikipedia-like group editing project. Some of the ideas would only bring the translation closer to the original. But others would fundamentally change the text.

Yes, that’s right, the folks at Conservative Bible Project want to edit out the parts of the bible they don’t like. These people are absolutely insane. It’s ironic that conservatives, many of whom are strict constructionists when interpreting the Constitution–that is, they believe the text of the constitution should be applied only as it was written–are finding it appropriate to flat out remove aspects of the bible they deem unconformable to their own narrow interpretation of the Bible.

So for those of you keeping long and confusing notes, the Constitution written and inspired by humans must not be interpreted and applied sensibly to the evolving circumstances of the nation, but the Bible, a text purported by these very people to be divinely inspired by God can be edited as they see fit. Got it?

Some of the changes I find to be awesome:

  • Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
  • Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word “comrade” three times as often as “volunteer”; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as “word”, “peace”, and “miracle”.
  • Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
  • Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word “Lord” rather than “Jehovah” or “Yahweh” or “Lord God.”

This is golden stuff. It really is. The bible is one giant Wikipedia entry, and these wingnuts are the editors who are proving in disturbing fashion that perhaps not everybody should have editing rights.

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3 Responses

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  1. I thought that was a joke when I first heard it.

    Ben Hoffman

    October 5, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    • Ditto. I glanced at the section-tab to make sure I wasn’t reading from the ‘comedy’ section on HuffPo.

      PJ

      October 5, 2009 at 11:40 pm

  2. well then… that solves a whole of shit! thou shall no steal… SCRATCH THAT

    papa p

    October 6, 2009 at 9:24 pm


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